Am I Grown Up Yet? – Daily prompt – adult visions

I remember being a kid and listening to Prince’s 1999 and thinking, “What the hell? The world cannot end in 2000! I will still be kinda young and probably not have any kids or be married by then.” I figured that I would just be getting into my teaching career and going strong toward changing the world one classroom at a time and be a bestselling author. 1383248673775

In actuality, by the year 2000, I had four children, had not been married yet, and was working a job that I hated in order to support my family. I was so sure that life would be absolutely grand and I would be having the time of my life.

Not that I did not have fun in my younger years, I had a blast, but it was a LOT different than I thought that it would be. I had my first baby at the age of 16, so reality set in quickly. I knew that I had to be responsible and take care of her. So, I accepted the jobs that paid the most money and offered benefits (yes, they used to do that to cover the whole family as part of the employment package). So, I shelved my dreams and raised my family.

I do not regret it at all. I loved being there while they were growing up – I’m glad I didn’t miss that. The memories are magnificent. Both my girls used to wave “bye bye” backwards – it was so cute. My boys were such crybabies, but they always wanted to be with their mama. They took up my whole heart. I wasn’t really sure how to share it with anyone else. I had boyfriends, even got engaged a time or two, but I wasn’t ready or sure that is what I wanted.

So, now I am reinventing myself. The nest is almost empty and I have decided to be me and do what I really want. I married a beautiful woman that is the love of my life this year. I have started a couple of businesses of my own and I am finally trying to be brave enough to write. I believe that everything happens for a reason, so now I actually have the time, the energy, the courage, and the confidence to be myself. That is exactly what I plan to do. PICT0529


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