Heartbroken, Angry, Confused and Afraid

Another senseless death…

It seems like every time I turn on the news or look through my social media pages, there is another murder of an unarmed Black man that has occurred at the hands of the police. I don’t understand it. Why are these men so threatening? Why do these men always seem to “fit the profile” or viewed as “acting erratically?” Yes, I admit there are some Black criminals among us, but not every one of us. This weekend, Michael Brown, was gunned down by police in Ferguson, Missouri and the incident incited a riot. The whole situation is crazy and I don’t understand any of it.

I have four sons and I am so afraid for every one of them. My heart is broken for the families and friends of these young men that have been murdered. I cannot imagine the horror and the devastating pain that they are going through right now. I cried for this particular young man (as I did with Trayvon Martin) as if he were one of my own boys. I pray that I never have to feel that pain, but I also pray that no other mother has to endure it anymore. Can these murderers imagine that type of pain? Could they even imagine if something like this happened to one of their own children?

It feels as if the entire race is being hunted and systematically exterminated. This has been going on since America was born, but when does it end? Slaves were killed at the whim of slave owners; colored men were hung, tortured and shot without remorse; and now, African-American men are being destroyed, jailed and murdered – all in the name of “law.” Then, there is a question about why there is rioting… wouldn’t you be angry too?

Parents work extremely hard at raising upstanding citizens, but that is not enough. Our kids can be arrested, harassed, and killed without any threat of consequences to those that torture them! How is this possible? The badge and the uniform do not automatically make you God! My prayer now is that the real God show up and take vengeance. You may not agree, but it is what I ask for now.

The Black race is the only race of people that were brought to this country against their will and seems to be the only one that everyone else hates! Why? We did not and still do not ask for anything, except the same treatment as everyone else! We are here now and we are every bit as human, as good, as smart, as kind, as loving as anyone else… Just leave us alone! Let us live our lives and you live yours!



4 thoughts on “Heartbroken, Angry, Confused and Afraid

  1. I live outside the US and this issue was briefly touched by our evening news here. I did not understand it, however. Thank you for writing this and making things clear for me. Now I shall go ahead and share this. 🙂 I hope you stay safe there.


  2. I read this from Ker Metanoia’s sharing on Google Plus. So your words have crossed two oceans…that is a lot of water. Those are a lot of tears…tears shed because of ignorance.

    This ignorance is not something that arose out of the earth haphazardly, no…it is planned ignorance, but despite this, we are all responsible for feeding it, cultivating it and enabling it to grow and spread.

    Being accountable and authentic in our researched truth makes us citizens of this good earth able to destroy this ignorance, uproot it, make ourselves the kind of vessels where its seed cannot germinate and its nemesis.

    Be mindful. Spread the truth from the roots of our own authenticity, ‘Know thyself’ and know that Self is something shared and vulnerable and creative and faithful and so needs to be treated with great care.

    We mourn and are sad, but out of this grief comes the resolve that we shall defeat this ignorance once and for all and ever be vigilant as to its return.

    We shall be mindful.


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